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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?